by By Phillip Gitau
This is not for those whose marriages were matched in heaven; whose connection is telepathic. You keep shining.
It’s for us who, with unbridled pride, thought we were good people. Good enough to make marriage work. Powered by glowing academics or the unchained ambition and athleticism of youth or money careers that had launched off – maybe a devastating combination. Who thought marriage was another rite of passage, another box eagerly awaiting our ✓ tick, because ‘It is time and we’re good peoples!’.
This is for us who then realised anger burns in us, lust lurks under our skin, forgiveness is too humbling, having our way is natural, thinking of ourselves first is effortless, that we can growl like wild dogs, that saying sorry strips us naked and we love our robes so self righteous.
For us who know adultery resides in our impure bosoms. Before it was in between sheets, we had nurtured it at heart and let it’s short sweetness fester in our minds.
For us who painfully discovered pinacoladas at yet another beach holiday won’t sort it out, neither will a quiver full of healthy babies, even with their warm, soft hugs, pure eyes, and helpless cries. Nor will land deeds and German machines.
It’s for us who know we are broken, not because someone broke us, but from birth we came out defective.
It’s for us who know pointing fingers is so Adam and Eve, so weak and hypocritical.
It’s for us who know trying to manipulate and fix others stinks of arrogance, too high above our expertise. Otherwise we’d have so fixed ourselves.
Who realise that the most sincere of counsellors only help paint the symptoms, maybe chop off fruits, leaving intact the roots and soon there is yet another budding, another ripening.
That in marriage fruit is always in season. That God designed it to give you an undeniable, bumper harvest. That what is unseen finally blossoms into sight.
For us who got tired of putting up face.
For those ready to humbly approach and live in the Face of the One who chops the tree at the root and grafts us into His Own.
For us who see the murk within and are tired, desiring to be clean.
For us who know we cannot manufacture joy and peace is not always upon us.
It’s not for those who await a joint inquisition. It’s for those who know that responsibilities in marriage are individual for we can never make the other do right or wrong. Its for those who say this is my mess, exclusive of his/her mess.
It’s for those who love the Truth.
It’s not for you perfect wife, perfect husband. You, keep enjoying your perfect whitewash and glowing facade. #Marriage
Philip Gitau is a striving Christian who desires to draw closer to Christ and be more captivated by His amazing love. He is married and currently has three children. Philip studied business and is an entrepreneur. His free day may be easily spent at the Nairobi National Park or Oloolua Nature Trail.
