Faith… What I traded for fear

By Polly Gatwiri

“Be still and know….” was not the answer I anticipated 

So I never gave room to hear 

Of what or who I needed to know after the stillness 

Time was running out and 

“I’ll answer you when you call” would have been better.

I have never seen mount Zion,  only heard about it

So my waiting likened to it didn’t sit well with me

Unlike Paul 

Not once or twice, not even ten times

I lost count of the many times my heart and mind screamed to be heard.

As every hair on my body felt like thorns 

My blindness was more of the mind and heart

I would wake up every morning in search of a sign 

Evidence of what I hoped for.

But then what I hoped for was different from what I learnt God willed

So I was not sure when I cried and called

Then I realized that I was putting too much effort 

I had lost something important as a child of God 

FAITH 

And traded it for fear.

 I realized I didn’t need evidence, He was enough for me to hold still

And it never really did matter what I hoped for 

His will would always be perfect 

I didn’t need to know Mount Zion 

Only the King of Zion 

And FAITH was the shield against all the blindness around.

Polly is serving Kenyan students under Focus Kenya, Pwani Region.