by By Winnie Ngahu
Three years ago, my friend was on the verge of making a bold but scary decision that would change the trajectory of her life as well as that of her family. As is often the case in such instances she was grappling with the burden of responsibility. Now, as an observer, I thought, ‘Wow, what courage!’ Then she mentioned that she had been struggling with the notion that she did not expect things in life to generally work, and while this keeps her humble and pleasantly surprised when things do work, it also robs her of joy and sheer delight in God. Please note that my friend is a seeker of God; she is not straddling the fence or playing it by the ear as far as faith is concerned. She is very clear about being loved by and loving God back.
Her struggle with this notion is one she can substantiate using scripture — John 16: 33: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” and 1 Pet 4: 1: “Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in this body is done with sin.” My friend is keen to honor God with her perspectives on life too.
I only mention this story because I resonated with it. I understand fully well the struggle to accept that God will consistently do good things, and that He in fact wants to do me good. Even his word says it in Zeph 3: 17, “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save, he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing”.
I can also bet this is not unique to my friend and I — this struggle to accept that even though we have been promised trouble in this world, and even though pain and suffering are inevitable because we are fallen beings in a fallen world, we have also been assured goodness and joy.
Psalms 37:4: “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires and petitions of your heart.”
Psalms 84:11: “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.”
My friend and her family made the bold and scary move and I see how God has not only granted their hearts’ desires but also brought them to places of the unimagined. I do not claim that they have not experienced pain and hardship, but God has not withheld goodness either.
So, why is it so hard to conceptualize unadulterated joy on this side of eternity? Why are we so hard of perceiving with our hearts what our minds already know to be true: We are deeply loved with an eternal love. “He who did not spare, even his own son, but gave him up for us all, how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” Rom 8: 32.
Isn’t this just goodness? What do you need to rethink today so that you can allow yourself to be fully loved by God? How would that look like for you today to fully believe that God fully loves you? What is denying you joy in the Lord? How is God misrepresented in your mind and heart?
Perhaps, you could join me in contemplating the following scripture. Psalms 37: 23-26, “The steps of a good and righteous man are directed and established by the Lord, and He delights in his way and blesses his path. When he falls, he will not be hurled down, because the Lord is the one who holds his hand and sustains him. I have been young and now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous (those in right standing with God) abandoned or his descendants pleading for bread.”
I have no idea how good will look like in this season but I want to perceive it. To be open to it.
Winnie Ngahu is a Christian and counseling psychologist who practices and lives in Nairobi with her husband and three children. She is dedicated to understanding teenagers and young adults and how they relate with the world.‘They are open, eager, curious and fearless; imagine the endless possibilities of who they could grow into if offered patient guidance and mentorship’.
